Anger Management 202 Ten Ways to Constructively Handle Anger
   1. Factually state what your partner did to upset you and how that behavior made you feel. Remember to avoid global statements (you always, you never) which makes tempers flare. Only focus on the problem at hand.
   2. For highly defensive mates, start by giving the benefit of the doubt: I know you didn't mean to upset me... and then use the formula in step one.
   3. Another tip for highly defensive mates: avoid the word "you." Instead of saying, I feel X when you do Y, reword your sentence so that the word "you" doesn't appear. For example, I feel X when Y is done to me.
   4. Deal with your issue as soon as possible or else let it go. Don't harbor resentments.
   5. Ask permission from your mate before discussing what's bothering you. For example you can start by asking: Is this a good time to talk? If your mate says no, then choose an alternate time, preferably within the same day.
   6. If you are prone to exploding, then, walk away and cool down before bringing the issue to your mate.
   7. Never express raw rage to your mate. Never call each other names or drop character assaults (you're lazy, cheap) which heat up arguments rather than resolve them.
   8. If your mate becomes defensive, when you describe what's bothering you, you can say, "I'm not saying you intentionally did anything wrong, I'm just telling you how I feel."
   9. If your mate is still defensive after you have said #8, then you might say, "Obviously I have offended you. What did I say that rubbed you wrong?"
   10. If all else fails, abort mission for a later time. Try talking again when you are both cool.

Ten Ways to Keep Romance Alive
   1. Don't Stockpile Anger: Deal with whatever is bothering you in the moment. Stored resentments destroy romance in two ways: 1) they cut off positive feelings; and 2) they eventually explode in words or actions that destroy the relationship. No relationship, no romance.
   2. Play Together: Sharing fun times builds intimacy, the soil for romance. Make a snowman. Have a pillow fight. Play together like you did when you were young.
   3. Grow Together: Trees grow until they die, so why shouldn't people. If either of you stop growing, the relationship will feel stuck in a rut. A relationship in a rut means no romance. To break out of the rut, and rekindle romance, start growing together. For example, take a course on a subject that interests you both.
   4. Make a Date: A fun way to keep romance alive is to recreate one of your first dates. Dress the same as you did way back when, visit the same restaurant. Doing so will resurrect the old feelings of excitement.
   5. Take a Trip Down Memory Lane: Travel together to a spot you visited when you were lovers. If you can't get there in person, then look at the photos of one of your early trips. Remember the smells, sights and sounds. Recall how you felt back then. Recreate a special moment from that trip, right in your own livingroom.
   6. Take Initiative: An excellent way to rebuild and maintain romance is to take initiative. Do something for your mate that you know he or she likes (like, a candlelit massage. Or prepare a favorite dish). The point is: taking initiative, conveys your love, boosts intimacy and sparks romance.
   7. Keep Listening: If you have been together for a while, you may assume that you know everything about your partner. Many long-term couples stop asking what the other partner needs, thinks or feels; this pattern leads to feelings of neglect--a major romance killer. Never assume that you know what your mate thinks, feels or wants, no matter how long you've been together. Keep asking and keep listening in order to keep romance alive.
   8. Had to skip 8, it's about sex.
   9. Say I Love You: If you remember to say "I love you" (or other caring statements) five times a day, romance will stay. Remember five times a day and the romance will stay.
   10. Isn't It Romantic?: Never assume that you know what your mate finds romantic. For one spouse, watching a football game, clutching a beer, is the height of romance. For the other, this scenario might be the height of boring. So, make sure you find out, what rings your mate's chimes. Then, don't file the information away, like an old research project. Put your information into practice and say and do what your mate finds romantic. romantic.


   Hooray!! I have recently been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.!
This is Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...

This is how it goes:

  I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table. Ok, I'm going to wash the car. But first I'm going to go through the mail.
  I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail and I notice the trashcan is full. Ok, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first.
  Now, where is my checkbook? Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk.
  Oh, there's the coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for those checks. But first I need to put my coke further away from the computer, oh maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while.
  I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye, they need some water. I set the coke on the counter and uh oh! There are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning! I'd better put them away first. I fill a container with water and head for the flowerpots - - Aaaaaagh!
  Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs.
  I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do?
  End of Day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, and the coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it and I can't seem to find my car keys!
  When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!! I realize this is a serious condition and I'll get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail...

Poetry Machine

Type in the words Requested
Then click the create button
You will have to file for copywrite for your wonderful poem yourself

       Ahhhh the chemestry of marriage !
   I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette
   I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956
   A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
   I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
   When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
   Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman
   She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one. - Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee
   Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe- Jackie Mason
   Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne
   After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. -- Hemant Joshi
   By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man. - Socrates
   A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
   Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.- Mae West
   [the authors of the following are not known] Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
   Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ... Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
   Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
   Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
   Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
   Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
   Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.
   I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
   If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Backus